Wednesday, November 08, 2017

A Catalog of Secession Movements.

The recent events in Catalonia inspired me to do some careful research on the causes of secession movements and produce a more extensive list of the reasons behind the various efforts. 

Catalonia from Spain:  They are upset that the world thinks of Catalan as a dialect of Spanish, rather than the other way around.

Basques from Spain:  They never accepted the Roman/Latin conquest.

Pakistan from India:  To enjoy an Islamic paradise.

Scotland (~100AD):  Romans and their baths were offensive to them, per the historian Tacitus.

Scotland (recently):  When caught molesting a sheep, they want to be known as proud Scots rather than ashamed Englishmen.

Irish Republican Army:  Making bombs and blowing things up is cool.  What more reason would one need than this?

England from the EU (Brexit):  Because foreign rulers have always had the decency to move across the Channel and govern from territory within the UK.

India from the UK:  My Indian consultant on this says he is almost done assimilating the UK, and will get back to me with an answer to my inquiry when he is done.  I could hear him shouting "resistance is futile" as he was hanging up the phone.

US (from England):  The taxes were too low.

Southern US from Northern US:  This topic has been sufficiently explored elsewhere.

Canada from America:  This is a face saving thing.

Quebec from Canada:  Although Canadians have the world's most mild and unoffensive sense of humor, this is still too much for the Quebecois to handle.

Mexico from Spain: Spain wasn't providing governors who were sufficiently corrupt.

Texas from the US:  The same reason that they seceded from Mexico - they were opposed to a government imposed religion.  Catholicism was the previous religion imposed by Mexico and Political Correctness is the new religion that has been established by Washington.

California from the US:  They are offended that Texas wants to secede and must prove that their  moral outrage is greater and more sincere.

Tibet from China:  Too many Chinese are moving to Tibet in order to get away from Beijing.

Those are the ones that I know about.  Would appreciate some info about additional secession movements.


Rummuser said...

Kashmir from India, Baluchistan and Pakhtoonistan from Pakistan, Tamil Eelam from Sri Lanka.

Max Coutinho said...

Hi Looney,

Galicia from Spain - they want to be Portuguese (well, their language sounds like a Portuguese trying to speak Spanish, so I get it).

Olivença from Portugal - even though they are within Portugal they feel Spanish.

Mirandela from Portugal - originally a Celtic province, they speak a Celtic language that has been recognised as the second official language in Portugal (I don't understand a word of it). Though if they ever secede we may end up with the second Jewish State in the world LOL.

Corsega from France - this is actually historical justice. It belonged to Italy not France and their names are all Italian anyway.

The Island of Monte Cristo...oops, not sure if it exists outside the book. I need to check that. :)

Great post. Thanks for the chuckles.


Looney said...

@Rummuser, I almost forgot about the Tamil Tigers. Wondering what happened to them. Never heard of the two Pakistan movements. But there are so many.

Looney said...

@Max, so I guess the Iberian peninsula is even more complicated than I realized. Now I am getting the impression that the only place that doesn't want to secede is Gibraltar!

Max Coutinho said...


Gibraltar wants to remain British. Spain wanted it back but the locals won't have it. And neither will the UK.