Pollster: Sir, can you answer some questions for our exit poll?
Voter: Are you Sirring me young lady?
Pollster: Yes, can you tell us who you voted for.
Voter: Um, voted?
Pollster: Which name on the ballot did you put a mark next to?
Voter: Trump. Yes, that's it, Trump. He's de man.
Pollster: Thank you. Can you tell us if you are an evangelical?
Voter: What in tarnation is an eve-ant-jelly-coil? Does it go in a car?
Pollster: No, .... I mean yes, .... I mean an evangelical isn't something that goes in a car ... That is, an evangelical can go in a car, but it isn't a car part.
Voter: You don't sound too certain of yourself. Can I find one down at the junkyard?
Pollster: Sir, what I am trying to ask is if you are someone who cares about Religious Values?
Voter: You mean the hardware store down on Main Street? Is something happening to them?
Pollster: Sir, I see you are white, do you own a gun?
Voter: Yes, of course I own a gun. It is over there in the truck. Let me go get it so I can show it to you ...
Pollster: Thanks sir, that will be all. I will just go ahead and mark you down as an evangelical since you are white, own a gun and drive a truck.
Voter (shouting): Sarah, can you get the new gun out of the truck? This confused young lady wants to see if it has an eve-ant-jelly-coil in it, and I don't know what she is talking about.