Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Rise of the Machines

Human Friendly Robot: How can I help you?
Customer:  Disconnect service.
Human Friendly Robot:  You would like to add a sports package?
Customer:  No!
Human Friendly Robot: I didn't understand.  Would you like to add a sports package?
Human Friendly Robot: Let's start over.  What would you like me to do for you?
Customer: Dis-con-nect Ser-vice.
Human Friendly Robot: I understand.  You want our unlimited channels package.
Customer: No!
Human Friendly Robot: I didn't understand.  Would you like an unlimited channels package?
Customer: No! (growling)
Human Friendly Robot: Please stay on the line while we transfer you to a representative.

(10 minutes later)
Friendly Human: Sorry to keep you waiting, would you like to add a sports package?

(Note: The above has been abbreviated and is only a small portion of the ordeal.)


Ursula said...

Makes me weep, Looney. All you want is someone to talk to. Briefly. No doing.

It's crazy. Disembodied voices asking you for your mother's maiden name.

Then you'll be put in a queue. Which is only marginally worse than being put on hold.

Mind you, I have sussed it now. They will repeat the same over and over and over but if you don't COMPLY eventually someone (a real person) will pick up the phone. By which time Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" will have been ruined. I don't know who Vivaldi's great great great ... grand children are but if I were [Vivaldi's great ... child] I'd take out a what's it order to stop what is a violation.


Rummuser said...

Hilarious! Anyway, I am glad that all is well that ended well!

Max Coutinho said...

Hi Looney,

LOL LOL it's all the time the same thing. And what's upsetting is that the trend is global.
You and Rummy made me laugh today: thank you.

Have a Blessed weekend, my friend.

Looney said...

@Ursula, at least this company won't be doing this to me any more!

It has been a long time since I listened to Vivaldi. I would rather experience the four seasons in the wild than at the concert hall.

Looney said...

@Rummuser, this represents not just the end of a contract, but the end of something that I have had since I first had memories as a child: the television. Can't believe we cut ourselves loose from this. But then there is the internet to replace it with!

Looney said...

@Max, I do like to check where he live operators are from when I have a chance. One was from El Salvador. The Philippines is fairly common.