Rather than complaining about some other monthly celebration, I thought it would be more constructive to go through the list of official monthly celebrations to see what might suit me better for the month of March. For example, there is the "Irish-American Heritage Month". Given that the name Looney originates in Ireland, this should be appropriate for me. Perhaps it is one area where I can find a topic of agreement with our president O'Bama.
The "Music in Our Schools Month" is ruled out since I think the music program should A) include music, B) be musical and C), continue for more than a month. We must also note that America's schools aren't "Our" schools unless you are a member of a teachers union. "National Brain Injury Awareness Month" is something I won't comment on, but "National Celery Month" is what really gets me excited. Can you imagine getting to eat only celery for a month? We really don't need "National Craft Month" since this is to be outsourced and Americans simply have no patience for such frivolities anymore.
Then there is "National Frozen Food Month". My Asian influence has taught me that it ain't fresh and worthy of being eaten unless it was twitching five minutes earlier. There is a "National Middle Level Education Month", which - this being America - I presume is a typo for what was intended to be "National Mediocre Education Level Month". The most overly nutritionized nation in the world is the US, so we quite uselessly have a "National Nutrition Month". The "National Peanut Month" strikes me as unnecessary also, given that there is no lack of peanuts and one of our peanut farmers famously became a president. Do we really need to promote more peanuts at the expense of cashews, walnuts, almonds, etc.? Perhaps if it were "National Dry Roasted Peanuts with Sea Salt Month". The "Red Cross Month" has expanded to a permanent governance of the western world by Cross Red's, so I am not worried that this topic won't get enough attention either.
The one that really sticks out to me as necessary is "National Professional Social Work Month". The Biblical story of the Good Samaritan celebrates the social work of an amateur who took on something at the spur of the moment and entirely at his own expense. He picks up a beaten man and cares for him, eventually transporting him to an Inn Keeper. The Inn Keeper is then paid a fee to continue taking care of the beaten man and bring him back to health. In the modernist version of this story, the hero is the Inn Keeper who is a professional doing charity for a fee. The Good Samaritan is undoubtedly a deranged vigilante who probably made matters worse by his intervention. Did he have a license to do what he did? Would it not have been better for him to have paid his taxes and left the business of charity to properly trained and equipped professionals? Was his mule certified for carrying passengers? Did he have insurance? Were his actions in compliance with the regulatory environment? How do we know that he didn't beat and rob the man in the first place?
Perhaps, "Love your neighbor as yourself" should be left to the professionals. Let's take a month to celebrate this!